Five Worst Internet-Connectable Devices
Smartphones make our lives so much easier, so plenty of other companies are jumping on the bandwagon to make your life easier with Internet-connectable devices. But for every useful appliance there are tons ridiculous products that just make you ask, “why though?”
Smart Range
At first, a smart oven range may seem like an excellent idea. After all, you can monitor the temperature of your oven and know without a doubt that it isn’t set too high for a roast. Theoretically, that’s nice, but it just seems like a huge risk to be taking. Especially when slow cookers exist, and come so affordably. Much like the Griffin Toaster, the chance of burning down your home seems too high. But even if you’ve achieved Perfect Smart Range Synchronicity and can fine-tune your cooking from the next county over, you’re still out of luck. Smart devices can be hacked. Reports surface every year about dolls, televisions, phones, and ovens getting hacked. That’s right – even ovens. You don’t even have to be the one responsible for burning your house down! It could all go up in flames because of a security breach and a bored computer science major from your local community college. It may be best to skip the smart range.
Quirky Egg Minder
Have you ever been at the store and forgotten whether you had enough eggs for your cake, casserole, or breakfast? You could spend $2 to $3 on another carton to be safe. Or – and hear us out on this – you can purchase the Quirky Egg Minder for around $11-$15. This device syncs to your smart phone to tell you how many eggs you have at home and when they’re going bad. Personally, the egg floating test has never steered us wrong. And while you don’t have to worry about whether you need eggs anymore, you DO have to worry about the buying more AA batteries to power your Quirky Egg Minder.
Juicero
Have you heard of Juicero? It’s the device that will revolutionize the way we drink vegetables and fruit juice. Because apparently that needing revolutionizing? All you have to do is connect it to your wi-fi, then sync it to your phone with a QR code, then, then place the special, proprietary juice pack inside of the press. Easy, right? It yields about eight ounces of juice in just two minutes. The first thing you might wonder is ,“Why does it need to connect to my phone?” Mostly to lock you into the system. The wifi connection means it phones home to make sure you can’t use anything besides Juicero’s exclusive pouches to get your delicious beverage. It also scans a QR code on each pouch and refuses to make juice if the pouch is even one day past the expiration date. At just $400 (down from an initial price of $700) it’s a steal…unless you just squeeze the packets yourself and get about the same amount of juice.
(Or, if you wanna get really crazy, just go to the store and buy some juice. The downside is that store-bought juice doesn’t come with promo videos that look like rejected Portlandia skits.)
Griffin Toaster
The tech company Griffin wants to make your home life easier, so it released a line of Smart appliances that will simplify your everyday routine. While some devices actually seem pretty great (here’s looking at you Connected Coffee Maker), others fall a little short. The toaster falls into the latter group. The Bluetooth-enabled device has a temperature gauge that allows you to make the perfect slice of toast every time. But who makes toast so often that they need a special app for it? Who has $100 to spend on a toaster? At least with the coffee maker, you can have a cup ready for when you wake up, or come home from work. But making toast while you’re out of the house seems like a great way to burn you place to the ground.
ShutterEaze
Haven’t you always wanted shutters that opened to allow light into your home without you having to open them physically? Haven’t you? Anyone? Okay, fine, we haven’t either. But clearly someone at ShutterEaze has, and turned that radical dream into a reality. These shutters connect to your phone using the internet and Bluetooth (just like everything else on this list) and allow you to open and close your blinds whenever you want, without needing to be near them. This product isn’t on the market yet, but it plans to be soon so you can have your plantation shutters open and close “even when you’re not at home.” Perfect! Now, strangers can look into your home without you ever knowing. That makes the security cameras on our “Five Best Internet-Connectable Devices” a must-have.
