Gift Guide for Your Enormous Strong Father with Large Hands
Your father is strong, and beautiful. He deserves every single one of the gifts, and here they are, the gifts for your incredible father.
Beard oil
Your enormous father’s beard is manly, but unkempt. Beard oil helps him tame the outward signs of the wilderness within him.
Protein powder
Your large beautiful father needs protein powder to maintain his immense bulk. Your father cannot become smaller. Then you would have less father, and that is Unacceptable.
Whiskey
The best and most grateful child would have started barrel-aging a good whiskey for his father 200 years ago, so that it would be ready now. But failing that, you can buy a whiskey that someone else has made.
A Grill
The light of the fire dances in your father’s eyes, and soothes him. He prepares the flesh of the animal with his large hands. He provides for his family, and his is calmed in his soul.
Cologne
Your immense, beautiful father becomes frightened if he stops smelling like leather or sandalwood for even a moment. You must protect your intense and mythical father from this tragedy.
Apple Watch
Your powerful father likes the technology. It glows with unnatural light, which is sometimes frightening. But it is shiny, which is incredible. Your father likes the shine and sparkle.
Tile
Your gargantuan delicate father does not always remember where he puts things. This troubles him. Purchase the Tile so that it may help him seek what he has lost.
Kindle Paperwhite
Everyone likes the e-reader, and your great big masculine father is no exception. Its portability and affordability let him fill his giant mind with new ideas.
The Star Wars
Your bright-eyed, gigantic father loves the Star Wars. He loves when the lasers happen in front of his eyes. You must give this gift to him, so that he may once again witness the lasers and the Star Wars.
A large mug for ale
Your catastrophic, huge father can consume many beers. Facilitate this consumption with a large mug, to be filled with much beer. In this way, your father may dull his senses and know the peace that comes with sleep.
